inquiring minds

Rachel: Mimi, do all firefighters love Jesus?

Mimi: No, not all firefighters.

Rachel: Well if they don't love Jesus, than why do they go into fires and save people?

breakfast chatter

At the breakfast table this morning with Rachel (5yo) and Carly (2.5yo)...

• Mommy: The Bible says we should do everything "as unto the Lord." How can we do that?

• Rachel: Praise God!

• Mommy: How can we praise God in everything we do?

• Rachel: Pray and read the Bible.

• Mommy: How about when we do other things? How do you play when you play with your sister?

• Rachel: Be kind!

• Mommy: YES! That's one way we can do everything "as unto the Lord." When we are kind to each other, God feels that we love Him, and we always want God to feel that we love Him, right?

• Rachel: But we can't always be kind. We can't always make good choices.

• Mommy: Why not?

• Rachel: Well, because, we always sin just a little bit. I can't always make good choices.

• Mommy: That's true! But we can always try, can't we.

• Carly: But someone taked away our bad choices. Someone did.

• Mommy: Yeah? Who did?

• Carly: Jesus did.

• Mommy: And how did He do that?

• Carly: He died on the cross.

• Mommy: Yes He did! And He rose from the dead so that we can have eternal life!

Thank you, God, for these precious children and their sweet faith. Thank you for the simplicity of your Gospel--that my children can know it and understand it. I pray that they own it and know that it was for THEM that you sent your Son--that you, Jesus, died for Rachel and for Carly and for James. What good news!!

i like my kids part deux

I have thought many many times over the last few months about how much I'm missing out on recording memories. Right now, the kids are all sound asleep, the hubs, who is usually burning the midnight oil doing work, is also sound asleep, and I have the quiet house. So here goes:

Rachel. This girl drives me nuts, no doubt. From the time she was a tiny little thing, she has been so intense. As soon as she figured out the whole language thing, she was talking. Nonstop. But I don't need to recount that, because I used to write a blog post every. single. day. But, hey, that's how it is with the first, right?!? Anyway, I was entirely hopeful that she would snap into some reasonable level of maturity when she turned four, but this last year has had its own trying times. But by and by, I see glimpses of that big girl I've been hoping for. She's definitely not a baby anymore, and we've had to cross bridges of unchartered waters this year--like explaining that she can't be lovey dovey with every man she meets (only family, please), and that it's just not cute when she fake laughs or acts wild around new people. Seems like common sense stuff, but I suppose we were taught it once, too (thanks, mom and dad...seriously). She's growing up. But wasn't she just a baby??

There are two things about Rachel that I am fascinated to watch and encourage. One thing is that she loves--and I mean LOVES--to do things with her hands. If it's a craft, she's all over it. Glue, scissors, stamps, stickers, markers, paint, fabric, beads--these things are not safe if she's around. A few weeks ago, Jarrad gave me flowers (I know--sweet, right?). I cut them down a bit and pulled off some of the leaves so they would look nice in my vase. Before I had a chance to clean up after myself, Rachel had created a picture for each kid in her preschool class using those discarded items. She glued one leaf and one stem to each piece of paper, colored a little, and wrote her friends' names. She was sure to take them to school the next day and handed them out so proudly.

And that brings me to the second fascinating-thing-about-Rachel. The girl loves loves loves giving gifts. Oddly, "gifts" is one of my love languages, which is quite handy (they say you speak your own language easiest, so I assume that the fact that Rachel loves to give gifts reflects that that's how she also feels loved). Last week, she came into my room one morning before school, and she asked if she could please give each of her friends an animal. Bear in mind that Rachel loves her stuffed animals and dolls. She plays with them more than any other type of toy. But I will be the first to admit that sometimes I feel like the stuffed animals might attempt a coup d'etat and completely take over, and so I did not object to her idea. I had no hand in the process whatsoever (I had my hand in other daily preparations), and she took it upon herself to find a bag and loaded up ten of her favorites. I was aghast at which ones she chose, and [sadly] I had to repress the urge to talk her out of some of them (why would I do that?? but I was still oddly bothered that she wanted to get rid of some of those animals that she loves so much). I reasoned in my head, though, that our friends and family who have gifted her with so many lovely toys and animals do so because they think those things will bring her joy, and, well, if they will bring her joy by giving them away, then I most certainly should not stand in her way, and I most certainly should encourage her. Do not hold onto things of this world, Child. And so she happily took all of the animals to school and handed them out, one-by-one, each child receiving the particular animal Rachel picked out for him/her. She was so happy. "Do you know why I want to do that, Mommy? Because I love people." She really said that. And I was so proud and thankful. And it's so odd, too, because she really has trouble (like any kid) sharing her toys when friends come over, or even especially with her sister. I guess that's different, somehow.

I really can't wait to see how these things grow with Rachel. Will she always love to craft? Will giving always come so naturally to her, or will she become jaded? Maybe we were all like that once, who knows?

Well, that's Rachel. I think I'll end here and join the rest of my family's snooze time. The next chance I have to sit and ramble, I'll spill all about Carly--the sweet-faced one. That little girl definitely keeps me on my toes..

i like my kids

I mean, ain't they cute?? :)

countdown

Well, it's official: I've been pregnant for a really long time. This pregnancy has seemed to last forever. I wanted to get my thoughts out about all of it before Baby Boy gets here, lest I forget (isn't it weird how soon we forget?...definitely a God thing--why else would I ever do this again??).

Almost since Day One of this pregnancy, I've had terrible back pain. Baby has bothered my sciatic nerve the entire time, and I have required a lot of help from friends and family (some times more than others, and completely unpredictable from one day to the next). My sweet husband has been more than willing to help around the house, and I'm so grateful to have several family members (including grandparents!) closeby and available, too. All-in-all, it has been a humbling nine months for me.

My sweet girls have grown up during this time, too. It is incredible to watch the rapid change that happens in a kid between her first birthday and her second. Carly will be two at the beginning of November, and, as much as she delights my heart, she is definitely coming into her own. Her big sister is an incredibly intense, persistent, and perceptive child, but Carly has made it clear that she is able to--and will certainly grow into her ability to--match wits with Rachel. I often hear friends remark on how different their children are from each other, but I am here to tell you that I have a set of identicals on my hands. There are differences, of course, and I think Carly would be a bit calmer than Rachel if she weren't trying to keep up with her sissy. Carly is much snugglier than Rachel ever has been. Rachel is very physical, but not snuggly. And Carly is a Mama's Girl, whereas Rachel has always always been a Daddy's girl--a few nights ago, at bedtime, she said to me, "it's just...it's just...it's just that I love Daddy just a little bit more than you" (and besides that, she looks and expresses herself JUST LIKE HIM). As much as they have grown to be so similar, Carly at least resembled me a bit more in the beginning. But, as with her little personality, her little face has morphed into one that very strongly resembles that of her big sister, and there is no longer any question that the two are closely related.

Rachel was a late talker, but once she got started, she has not stopped talking. She asks questions incessantly, and seems to feel the need to know every detail of every goings-on around her. With her non-stop talking, Carly speech and language have been incredibly accelerated (at least compared to Rachel's). At 20 months, she is readily putting words together into complete thoughts and having full conversations with us (albeit, simplistic and repetitive ones).

And one of my favorite things right now is listening to Rachel and Carly converse. The two are definitely getting to a fun stage where they entertain each other, and I get to listen to cackles and squeals from the two of them as they play (along with regular intervals of fusses and whines). But Rachel enjoys banter, so she is always prodding Carly with ridiculous conversation. Here's an example...

• Rachel: Mommy, I'm hungry. Can I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
• Mommy: Yes, it's lunch time, we can do that.
• Carly: Mommy, I hungy! Peanut butter!!!
• Rachel: Carly, I'm hungry too, can I be hungry too?
• Carly: NOOOOO!
• Rachel: Carly, can I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich too?
• Carly: NOOOO! NO! NO! Mommy, peanut butter!
• Rachel: Carly, I want one, Mommy can I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mommy?
• Mommy: Yes, Honey, I've already said you can.
• Rachel (whiny voice): Carly says I can't.
• Mommy: (sigh)

It's funny to recount, but, as it happens many times a day, it can become rather wearing.

Rachel turned four in June, and she's grown in many ways. I had been holding out for four, hoping she would settle down some (as promised by some friends with spirited children). Her birthday came and went without much change. Just as we were rounding the corner to July, though, it happened. I still would describe her as "spirited," but she seems significantly more malleable now. She is more willing to hear us out and to concede to our authority over her. She is easier to discipline (I was at my wits end with disciplining her because she did not respond well to anything we tried--it was all like a game to her) and [usually] seems genuinely humbled when she makes a bad choice that leads to action from us. She is also displaying more discernment, which is a relief, and I don't feel the need to keep my eyes on her at every second for fear of where her impulses will lead. It is a nice change to send her upstairs with her friends to play by themselves, or to let her swim around the shallow end with her floaties and not worry that she'll slip out of the pool and run to the other end. I long for a fence around our backyard so I can send her out to play there! Although, she does not usually choose to be alone, so I'm not sure she would go out by herself anyway...my little extrovert.

And as Rachel rounded the corner to 4-year-old maturity, Carly passed her by, rounding the corner in the other direction. Almost on cue, she became contrary and determined, easily-frustrated and not easily-convinced when it comes to doing anything that isn't her idea. It's all so familiar that it's eerie. She's still cute, with all her baby pudgy, those piercing blue eyes, her funny little antics and the way she talks. But because she is so similar to Rachel, I know where it leads, and it makes me nervous and almost dreading her third year (she's not even two, and I'm dreading her third year...how unreasonable is that?). I am hoping that, having come out on the other side with Rachel, I will be able to have a better outlook the second time around. I am also praying to enjoy this sweet season with her now, before the storm really hits, and that God will give me wisdom to handle it better when it comes.

And Baby Boy. We cannot wait to meet you. We cannot imagine how our lives will change. I have tried to imagine snuggling up with a baby boy (all my friends say boys are the cuddliest and that they do so love their mommies), but it's hard to envision it being the same with a boy. Baby girls are little, sweet flowers--delicate and feminine and dainty. It is just difficult for me to anticipate what having a boy will be like. I'm intrigued and excited to have a new experience on our third time around. I'm also extremely curious about how different this child might be. The first two sure look like their daddy. This one might look like me. My labors were identical with Rachel and Carly (17-hour labor, 30-45 minutes pushing, both born around 8:30pm, perfectly healthy, both weighing 7lbs 12oz, no meds), and neither were earlier than predicted (in fact, Carly was seven days LATE). This one might really surprise us and come early, and he might come fast, or we might need interventions we've never had to have before. Who knows?? It would be very surprising if it all happened the same a THIRD time, so I'm expecting the unexpected, knowing all the while that I cannot prepare because I just don't know (neither from experience nor from my imagination) what will be.

So, looking at my ticker, I am at 36 weeks and 3 days today. The house is a wreck--there's so much that needs to be done before Baby makes his debut. We need to settle on a name. As long as this pregnancy has seemed, this date has surely crept up on me. But I remain fairly relaxed. I guess I feel as prepared as I'll ever be and as unprepared as I've ever been.

i love rachel

Rachel is growing up right before our eyes. She has developed some really cute habits, lately (along with a host of really annoying habits, but I'll leave that to your imagination). One of my favorite things she just started doing is clicking her tongue and pointing her finger after she matter-of-factly announces something to me. "Well, I could use my crayons instead of my markers [click/point]!" It's hard to argue with that self-assured presentation, Rach.

She's also inferred that "soaking" can be used instead of "very." I assume this is due to me referring to her as "soaking wet" after a bath? The first occurrence of the word came when she brought me the trash can from our bathroom "Mommy, you need to empty this trash can; it's soakin' full!" She had to repeat it before I understood, and I tried to stifle my giggles.

She also, within the last two days, has begun making up stories, mostly involving Carly and their cousin Emma. In the stories, the two babies are usually at MiMi's house, chasing each other and hitting each other. The parents usually get involved in some way, with appropriate scolding and exclamation. Cute. Yesterday, she told me that the two men who cleaned our gutters got married. When I reminded her that you need a boy and a girl to get married, not two boys, she declared, "Well, they did get married. They weren't aware of that rule. (shrugging and shaking her head) I don't know why they did."

She's thinking more (and thinking less...hmmm) and can figure things out, even when I don't want her to figure things out. My favorite conversation lately happened tonight after dinner:

• Rachel: Daddy, why are you washing the dishes?
• Mommy: Daddy is blessing Mommy by washing the dishes tonight, isn't he.
• Rachel: Why is he blessing you?
• Mommy: Well, Daddy has lots of his own work to do, but tonight he's helping me with my work. He's blessing me.
• Rachel: What's blessing, Mommy?
• Mommy: It's when you give someone something they want or need.
• Rachel (thinking): You wanted Daddy to wash the dishes, Mommy?

Yes, child, yes I did. I was floored that she made that leap in logic. I guess we tall people often don't give the shorts much credit, but they sure are smart sometimes.

Anyway, the girl is driving me crazy most days, but I sure do love watching her grow and learn. She is so funny playing with Carly. When I asked her a couple of weeks ago if she remembered when we brought Carly home, right after she came out of Mommy's belly, Rachel looked at me, perplexed. She did not remember. She cannot even conceptualize life without her sister. It seems like only yesterday to me, but to her, this is how it's always been, and anything else would be just wrong. How sweet is that?

oh, dear

I don't know how to fix it, but Rachel has been very demanding lately. I don't mean demanding like "I need lots of things from my mommy, which makes her tired" demanding; I mean more like "I'm unhappy with what I have and want anything else, please" demanding. All day long, it's "I want" and "Can I have" and "gimme gimme gimme!" How do you teach a kid to be content?

To add insult to injury, she is becoming a bit more...how shall I say?...conniving? That sounds extreme, but it's actually quite accurate. Here's a prime example:

• Mommy (seeing Rachel jumping on her bed): Rachel! You are not to jump on your bed!
• Rachel plops down on her bottom, laughing.
• Mommy: Rachel, I do not think this is funny.
• Rachel (still laughing): I'm just laughing at something else.
• Mommy: Excuse me??
• Rachel: I was just laughing at sissy. She's a funny baby.

I was flabbergasted. I can't believe how sophisticated her thinking is becoming, and it's disheartening to see her trying to deceive and manipulate. That girl definitely keeps me guessing!

She tried to pull the same lie on me a couple of days later, but I was more prepared and handled it better. I couldn't help but feel like my heart was breaking a little, though. I guess it's natural that we want to think our children perfect. But at a time like that, it is undeniable that they are human--imperfect--like the rest of us. As I looked her in the eye and explained to her that she lied, and that it is never okay to say something that is not true, it struck me how alike we are. It struck me that God's heart breaks a little every time I disobey Him. It struck me that, in spite of my imperfection--in spite of my wretchedness--He loves me still. I had the opportunity to share with Rachel that God is HOLY, and that disobeying even one time is unacceptable. He cannot bear to look at us when we have even one sin. His perfect justice simply cannot ignore my wrongs. But, because He loves me--because He loves Rachel--He took what should have been my punishment for my sins, and dealt it out to His only Son. And Christ, in all of His Godly perfection, willingly sacrificed Himself so that I CAN be in the presence of a Holy God. Thank you, Jesus! If I can communicate this Truth to my children, I have done my job. I try to remember that God law has one function: to show me that I cannot fulfill it--to show me that I NEED Him. I pray that the rules our family holds, and the discipline we impart, will have that same function.

In the meantime, Rachel's hair is, after waiting almost 3.5 years, finally in a style. The sides and front of her hair have grown long enough to cut it all to that length (seriously...three and a half years of growing!). Jarrad wants her hair to be long, so the goal is for it to all grow out together, now. I'll have to admit that I like the little bob cut. She looks like such a big girl!

the elder

About three weeks ago, I finally ordered a book that had been suggested (unsolicited, mind you) to me by more than one person (including Rachel's pediatrician): Raising Your Spirited Child. For whatever reason, I resisted. I think I did not want to label Rachel, even if "spirited" is supposed to sound positive. I have been around kids a LOT in my life, and, well, they're all spirited. I had to really humble myself to buy the book. It was like admitting that I don't know how to handle my own child. It was as if to suggest that Rachel needs something extra, something I don't know how to provide. I guess it really has uprooted something I didn't even know I believed: that all children are basically the same, and that it's more about how they are raised that makes them either calm or crazy, pleasant or annoying, polite or attention-seeking. I'm kind of embarrassed to say that's what I thought, but I guess it is.

And so, as she has since her birth, Rachel has been paradigm-shifting. She is spunky. She's creative (and left-handed...is there a correlation?). She's persistent and shrewd. She will negotiate anything, often successfully and before the other party even realizes what has happened. She loves her sister to pieces. She cries when she doesn't get something she wants, and then later tells me she was fake crying. She delights in imitating me, and in pretending to be in charge. She is notorious for changing the subject when she's about to get in trouble for something, or when she's just been disciplined.

And she's funny, and she loves her mommy and her daddy. She's starting to notice more of the interactions between Jarrad and me, and she's picking up on tones in my voice, sighs of frustration, or a furrowed brow, regularly inquiring, "What's wrong, Mommy?" One night, I was washing dishes, and Jarrad came over and quickly grabbed the cloth out of the sink to wipe the table. I pretended to be so shocked and offended, and said, "HEEEEY! What are you doing??" He playfully replied that he'd give it back in a minute, and then he threw it back at me and we had kind of a flirty exchange. Rachel got the biggest kick out of the whole thing, and she asked me about it several times over the following two days, laughing as she recounted how Daddy took my cloth. It's sweet to know that she's for us--that she wants Mommy and Daddy to love each other and get along. Research has shown that a good marriage between a mom and dad is absolutely the best thing for the child, but you don't have to tell a child that; they know. Rachel knows.

I love watching Rachel grow and learn. She's really into "activities," which are worksheets from a little Preschool activity book Poppy gave her. She practices writing letters and doing the exercises with Daddy or me. After much prayerful consideration, we opted not to put her in preschool just yet, if at all. A part of me is sad for that, because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would love it. But, for now, God was telling us, "No," and I know He has a good reason, even if I never know what the reason is. I trust Him.

I love my big girl so much. I love her little scratchy voice. I love the intonation she uses when she's "teaching" me something, and the way she cocks her head to the side and puts her hands out for emphasis. I love that she throws me a curveball every time I think I have her figured out. I love that she tries so hard to be good, and I hate how I react sometimes when she isn't. I pray for her--that she will gain wisdom and understanding of those things that really matter: faith, hope, and love, and that she will put those things into the only context in which they make sense--a relationship with Jesus Christ. And I pray that the Lord will use me to show her those things in the way I live and respond to those around me.

she's a funny one

Here are some random fun things my big girl has said this week...

• After Rachel begged Jarrad for "hugs & kisses," which he granted, he closed the door behind him--off to work. She looked at me and said, "He will give you hugs & kisses tonight, Mommy. Don't be fuh-stuh-wated."
• Mommy: "We can't go by the Farmers Market, because they don't take credit cards." Rachel: "What? Shin guards?"
• Pointing to her shoulders, she matter-of-factly declares: "My arms are stuck to my side. So I can reach stuff. That's just how they hafta be."

I wish I could capture her animation in written form. Her mannerisms are so much like her daddy's, but she's a bit dramatic in her day-to-day--more like her mommy. She's so very sure of herself, and loves to "teach" me things. After spending a week with my mom, who taught Rachel to look for the 'in-step' of her shoe and that of her foot to decide which shoe belongs on which foot, Rachel spent several days teaching me the same lesson. Every time she picked up a shoe, she pointed out the 'in-step,' saying, "See, Mommy? See the in-step? You hafta look for the in-step," each time with a lot of emphasis on 'in-step'--as if to show off her new, grown-up vocabulary.

As I'm typing this, Rachel is hopping up and down on one foot and saying, "Look, Mommy--I can stand on one foot easily. See?"

We have also been reading a lot in her Big Picture Story Bible, which she is understanding and enjoying much more now. She asks great questions about the stories and about God and Jesus and heaven. I love to see her trying to figure out these mysteries that even the wisest cannot grasp, and I get emotional telling her about the great sacrifice that Jesus made on our behalf, just because He loves us so much. And it's humbling to tell her that He would have done it still, even if she had been the only person in the world, just because He loves HER so much. What a mighty God we serve.

the back and forth

The girls and I just got home from spending the week at my parents' house. Carly had a little fever for part of the week, which made it okay to just kind of sit back and do nothing. It was nice. MiMi and Poppy entertained the girls and provided our meals, and I got to take a few naps and even eat out a few times with the family.

This week also served as good affirmation for me. Both of my parents are elementary school educators, and they, consequently have a lot of experience with children, so getting their [albeit prejudiced] opinion on mine is interesting. Rachel, in my [somewhat experienced and definitely prejudiced] opinion, is particularly intense. I mean, I know all 3-year-olds are intense. They are in a stage where they want so badly to be independent, but, well, they're just too short most of the time. They have this conflict within them that they don't need us quite as much as they WANT us, and the wanting sends them spiraling back to babyhood in a matter of seconds.

Rachel is no different. But when it seems like some kids take a break every now and then, Rachel stays busy. She never stops. She never quits. She never relents. She never HUSHES. The child talks just to fill what could possibly be silence, which she seems to loathe. Here's an example:

• In the car, passing a pasture with cows.
• Rachel: I see cows and goats, Mommy. Do you see cows and goats, Mommy?
• Mommy: I see cows, but I don't see goats.
• Rachel: ...they're in the barn, Mommy?
• Mommy: Well, no--they aren't in the barn.
• Rachel: They're in the yard?
• Mommy: Yes, they are in the yard.
• Rachel: The yard IS the barn?
• Mommy: No, honey, they are not the same.
• ~3 minutes later, passing a vendor of storage buildings, where there are barn-like structures on display
• Rachel: I see barns, Mommy!! Do you see the barns?
• Mommy: Yes, I DO see those barns!
• Rachel: Cows go in those barns?
• Mommy: Well, not those barns. Those aren't really barns; they are storage buildings that look like barns.
• Rachel: People go in those barns?
• Mommy: Yes, people can go in those barns.
• Rachel: So they won't bite?
• Mommy (half listening): What? So they won't bite?
• Rachel: Yeah...
• Mommy: Well, people don't usually bite...
• Rachel: I bite sometimes.
• Mommy: You do? When do you bite?
• Rachel: When I'm hungry.
• Mommy: Oh, well, sure, you bite food?
• Rachel: Sometimes. Sometimes I bite people. When I bite people, it means that I'm hungry.
• Mommy: No, if you bite people it means that you're not very nice.

PHEW! If I could recall half the conversations we have, I would be able to recount why some days I feel so CRAZY. I try to remind myself that she is trying to learn about the world and about life, and learning is good, right? I want to encourage her to learn, right? I think I do...some days I do. My parents got a good taste of a week with Rachel, and they concurred--she's intense and exhausting!

What's even more interesting, to me, is that she doesn't seem to be that way when she is out of her comfort zone (i.e. away from home and/or family). At church, they tell us she kind of quietly observes the rest of the kids interacting. She does what?? Oh, to be a fly on the wall!

While my Rachel wears me out, I do SO love her spunky little personality. She always has an idea, and she always wants me in on it. She thrives when I praise her dramatically for little successes during the day, and she is learning to respond well to stern intervention when she is being disrespectful or unruly. She is a good girl, and a great helper. She challenges me daily, which is great for keeping me attentive and on my toes. If I can stay one step ahead of her, I am confident that all these things will be an asset to her in the future. I cannot WAIT to see what the Lord has in store for my firstborn.

she won't forget this one, part deux

We had Rachel's family birthday party on Sunday, and it was soooo fun to have everyone around to celebrate! Our girls have so many people who love them so much, and we feel so blessed to have them all so close by. Rachel got [too many] gifts, and she was thrilled to be the center of attention. I would like to point out that I made her cake (thank-you-very-much), since her only request was that it be purple (she's a little fixated on the color purple right now). I used my mom's chocolate pound cake recipe (yum) and made real buttercream icing with purple tint. I don't think it was really the most beautiful cake (it ain't my thing), but Rachel LOVED it, and it was super-yummy. The yummyness, well...I just think that's all a cake needs.

she won't forget this one

Rachel turned three today. Three years old. Woah. I have a real-life little girl. My firstborn is not a baby. Three years ago, she was two hours old, and we had NO idea how much our lives would change, or how much we would wish we had done this sooner. What a fun adventure we have started!

Today, I let Rachel have her choice for all three meals. She chose...PB&J sandwich for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She is definitely her daddy's girl, because he often chooses the same. Here she is blowing out her candles for the day! Her family party will be on Sunday, so there will be real birthday pictures then. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RACHEL!

the bigger one

So, what of my girls? They're still here, making me smile (and laugh) every day. Rachel has picked up on one of my catch phrases, asking me at times, "I'm making you crazy, Mommy?" She is quite the spunky one, and she sends me to sighing pretty regularly with her nonsensical questioning. We often have conversations like this:

• Rachel: I should wash my hands now, Mommy?
• Mommy: Yes, you definitely should wash your hands.
• Rachel: Why?
• Mommy: You just went potty, didn't you?
• Rachel: I just went potty?
• Mommy: Yes, Honey, so go wash your hands.
• Rachel: I need to go wash my hands?
• Mommy sighs.
• Rachel: I'm making you crazy, Mommy?

It can be wearing at times, and I regularly have to remind myself that she's only looking for more information so she can learn, which is something I do want to encourage, right?

I have felt proud of her over the last month or so. She seems to have matured some, and is beginning to use her manners without having to be reminded. Ever since my child gained the vocabulary and know-how to do so, she's been talking back to me. I think it's the natural course for a kid, but it's one of my pet peeves (probably because I got so sick of being disrespected by children when I worked in the school system at the Elementary level). I was horrified to think how she would be talking to me and other adults if I didn't start training her otherwise right away. So, for months now, I have stopped her regularly, by putting my hand up and saying, "When Mommy asks you to do something, you only need to say, 'Yes, Ma'am,' and then you do as you are told. Anything else is disobeying." I have said it what feels like a hundred times a day, and knew I could have said it a lot more (case in point, the many conversations like the one I listed above), and I thought it would never sink in. But about two weeks ago, she started actually doing it on her own, and seems to feel accomplished every time she remembers and I praise her. It is such a relief from the contrary phase she was in. Along those same lines, she has begun obeying without questioning, even in small tasks, and, consequently, she has become a great help to me. Of course, I don't mind if she at times, with respect, asks for an explanation or request a different course of action. But there is a big difference in asking a curious "why" and a defiant "why," and I'm just working to teach her that the defiant "why" is inappropriate and disrespectful. She also is beginning to take "no" for an answer without pitching a fit [most of the time], which is a big improvement as well. I am literally sighing with relief.

On the other hand, Rachel has ceased napping. It happened sort of suddenly, and she hasn't really looked back. She did fall asleep one day last week, and she took a good nap (over an hour), but then she had trouble going to sleep that night. Oh, well, right? If she doesn't seem to need the sleep, I guess I shouldn't begrudge her giving it up. She still has "room time" in the afternoons, but we're working through the rules that go with that. Yesterday, she came out every five minutes to ask if room time was over.

So that's my big girl. I'll do a separate post about my baby girl.