what keeps me busy

I have recently fallen in love with sewing. I tried a few times in the past, but never got into it. But I have discovered that I just don't think it's fun to cut into a pattern and turn it into a garment. What I DO think is fun is to look at fabric and create something from it. And so, after wading through several tutorials online, I have found bits and pieces of inspiration all over my house.

My first recycle project was a t-shirt reconstruction. Rachel and I participated with some friends in the Walk4Hearing a couple of weeks ago. My friend Carla had special t-shirts made for our team: Team Turtles. Rachel's adult small was, needless to say, too big. So I turned it into a dress...fun!

I used one of Rachel's existing dresses as a guide, cut the original shirt down to that size/shape, and sewed the side seams. I then took one of my discarded ribbed tanks and cut out sleeves and a ruffle for the bottom of the dress. I made the ruffle by pulling the fabric as I ran the edge through my serger. I used the bottom hem of the ribbed shirt for the sleeves so that the edges were already finished, and I ran one straight stitch with elastic bobbin thread to give the sleeves some poof. I also ended up having to put darts in the back because the dress needed more shape and still looked really big on her.

I had so much fun doing that, that I decided to recon some others of my discarded clothes. I had this striped long sleeve tee that I LOVED the colors, but never loved the shirt itself. So, per tutorials I found online, I cut the sleeves and made them into a little pair of pants for Rachel. It was SO easy that I couldn't resist trying to use the rest of the shirt, too. However, not wanting the outfit to be overwhelmed by stripes, I dug through our giveaway pile and found this plain brown shirt that I used to love. Armed with scissors and a newfound interest in gathering and shirring, I cut a bodice from the top of the striped shirt and sewed it to the gathered bottom of the brown shirt...

Clearly needing sleeves, I employed the sleeve portion of the brown shirt, also adding a line of elastic for fluff. The sleeves landed perfectly at her elbows! The biggest mistake I made was forgetting to add seam allowances in the sleeves, so I had to kind of finagle the armholes to match, which rendered the top a bit lop-sided. Live and learn! Finally, I used the bottom hem of the striped shirt to make a simple beanie(Rachel ultimately complained the hat was too tight...oops.) All told, it was the most fun I've had sewing, hands down.

And now...the finished product!

oh, dear

I don't know how to fix it, but Rachel has been very demanding lately. I don't mean demanding like "I need lots of things from my mommy, which makes her tired" demanding; I mean more like "I'm unhappy with what I have and want anything else, please" demanding. All day long, it's "I want" and "Can I have" and "gimme gimme gimme!" How do you teach a kid to be content?

To add insult to injury, she is becoming a bit more...how shall I say?...conniving? That sounds extreme, but it's actually quite accurate. Here's a prime example:

• Mommy (seeing Rachel jumping on her bed): Rachel! You are not to jump on your bed!
• Rachel plops down on her bottom, laughing.
• Mommy: Rachel, I do not think this is funny.
• Rachel (still laughing): I'm just laughing at something else.
• Mommy: Excuse me??
• Rachel: I was just laughing at sissy. She's a funny baby.

I was flabbergasted. I can't believe how sophisticated her thinking is becoming, and it's disheartening to see her trying to deceive and manipulate. That girl definitely keeps me guessing!

She tried to pull the same lie on me a couple of days later, but I was more prepared and handled it better. I couldn't help but feel like my heart was breaking a little, though. I guess it's natural that we want to think our children perfect. But at a time like that, it is undeniable that they are human--imperfect--like the rest of us. As I looked her in the eye and explained to her that she lied, and that it is never okay to say something that is not true, it struck me how alike we are. It struck me that God's heart breaks a little every time I disobey Him. It struck me that, in spite of my imperfection--in spite of my wretchedness--He loves me still. I had the opportunity to share with Rachel that God is HOLY, and that disobeying even one time is unacceptable. He cannot bear to look at us when we have even one sin. His perfect justice simply cannot ignore my wrongs. But, because He loves me--because He loves Rachel--He took what should have been my punishment for my sins, and dealt it out to His only Son. And Christ, in all of His Godly perfection, willingly sacrificed Himself so that I CAN be in the presence of a Holy God. Thank you, Jesus! If I can communicate this Truth to my children, I have done my job. I try to remember that God law has one function: to show me that I cannot fulfill it--to show me that I NEED Him. I pray that the rules our family holds, and the discipline we impart, will have that same function.

In the meantime, Rachel's hair is, after waiting almost 3.5 years, finally in a style. The sides and front of her hair have grown long enough to cut it all to that length (seriously...three and a half years of growing!). Jarrad wants her hair to be long, so the goal is for it to all grow out together, now. I'll have to admit that I like the little bob cut. She looks like such a big girl!

first pajama party

My mom had a birthday last week, so my sister-in-law and I loaded up our kids (four, total--Tyler, almost 4 yrs / Rachel, 3.5 / Carly, 10 mos / Emma, 7 months) and took them all to visit MiMi. The big kids got to sleep in the same room for the first time ever (MiMi also slept in the room to make sure there was not too much silliness going on). It seemed to happen all of a sudden, but Tyler and Rachel have really begun to enjoy playing together. Here are just a few of the priceless moments the children experienced together... And, can I just add that I think my nephew is HILARIOUS?? And that he is just like my brother...

toddling

Well, it's done. Carly is officially done being my little baby. A little over a week ago, she officially took up walking as her new favorite way to get around. Over the span of about 3 days, she went from insisting on holding someone's hands to walk around (i.e. she was unhappy and very vocal about it if we weren't perpetually helping her walk), to cruising around the entire downstairs by herself (very creatively, I might add) to taking a few steps here and there, to wanting to walk without help (i.e. she brushed us off when we offered her a hand). That's a lot of learning in such a short time! I don't quite know where it is she's wanting so badly to go, but she's going, and I guess that's keeping her happy for now. She is also able to bend over, pick something up, and stand again. And the past couple of days, she's been really into trying to pick up big things (like the Boppy pillow). The video below is from one week ago, on Friday. You can see Eager Big Sister "helping" Carly walk, and then pretending to be a baby herself. Silly girls.

the elder

About three weeks ago, I finally ordered a book that had been suggested (unsolicited, mind you) to me by more than one person (including Rachel's pediatrician): Raising Your Spirited Child. For whatever reason, I resisted. I think I did not want to label Rachel, even if "spirited" is supposed to sound positive. I have been around kids a LOT in my life, and, well, they're all spirited. I had to really humble myself to buy the book. It was like admitting that I don't know how to handle my own child. It was as if to suggest that Rachel needs something extra, something I don't know how to provide. I guess it really has uprooted something I didn't even know I believed: that all children are basically the same, and that it's more about how they are raised that makes them either calm or crazy, pleasant or annoying, polite or attention-seeking. I'm kind of embarrassed to say that's what I thought, but I guess it is.

And so, as she has since her birth, Rachel has been paradigm-shifting. She is spunky. She's creative (and left-handed...is there a correlation?). She's persistent and shrewd. She will negotiate anything, often successfully and before the other party even realizes what has happened. She loves her sister to pieces. She cries when she doesn't get something she wants, and then later tells me she was fake crying. She delights in imitating me, and in pretending to be in charge. She is notorious for changing the subject when she's about to get in trouble for something, or when she's just been disciplined.

And she's funny, and she loves her mommy and her daddy. She's starting to notice more of the interactions between Jarrad and me, and she's picking up on tones in my voice, sighs of frustration, or a furrowed brow, regularly inquiring, "What's wrong, Mommy?" One night, I was washing dishes, and Jarrad came over and quickly grabbed the cloth out of the sink to wipe the table. I pretended to be so shocked and offended, and said, "HEEEEY! What are you doing??" He playfully replied that he'd give it back in a minute, and then he threw it back at me and we had kind of a flirty exchange. Rachel got the biggest kick out of the whole thing, and she asked me about it several times over the following two days, laughing as she recounted how Daddy took my cloth. It's sweet to know that she's for us--that she wants Mommy and Daddy to love each other and get along. Research has shown that a good marriage between a mom and dad is absolutely the best thing for the child, but you don't have to tell a child that; they know. Rachel knows.

I love watching Rachel grow and learn. She's really into "activities," which are worksheets from a little Preschool activity book Poppy gave her. She practices writing letters and doing the exercises with Daddy or me. After much prayerful consideration, we opted not to put her in preschool just yet, if at all. A part of me is sad for that, because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would love it. But, for now, God was telling us, "No," and I know He has a good reason, even if I never know what the reason is. I trust Him.

I love my big girl so much. I love her little scratchy voice. I love the intonation she uses when she's "teaching" me something, and the way she cocks her head to the side and puts her hands out for emphasis. I love that she throws me a curveball every time I think I have her figured out. I love that she tries so hard to be good, and I hate how I react sometimes when she isn't. I pray for her--that she will gain wisdom and understanding of those things that really matter: faith, hope, and love, and that she will put those things into the only context in which they make sense--a relationship with Jesus Christ. And I pray that the Lord will use me to show her those things in the way I live and respond to those around me.

the baby

It has occurred to me many times over the last week that I NEED to update my blog. Moments and memories are slipping away, and they will be forgotten if I don't write them down! And so I intend to ramble...

Carly is the delight of my life right now. There is nothing sweeter than a baby, in my opinion, and there is no sweeter baby than my Carly, in my opinion. Of course, I suppose I ought to feel that way about my own, but I really enjoy this age so so much (she's 10 months old already). She's had several nicknames so far: Coughing Carly (because of her constant little Tracheomalacia cough), Machine Gun Carly (because she has a funny little hacking, sputtering laugh she does for attention), and Kitty Cat (because she has the cutest little habit of bumping things/people with her forehead affectionately, like a cat wanting to be petted). I call her Kitty Cat a lot, and she knows I'm talking to her when I do. She laughs easily, and she's starting to get her own ideas and opinions about her surroundings. She's not as interested in sitting still on the potty lately, but she still almost always goes poopy in there, which is fine by me. It's amazing how much easier all of that has been to handle the second time around.

The girl finally figured out how to eat finger foods. She could have done it sooner, had she only put the food in her mouth instead of examining it and then throwing it on the floor. Once she got it, though, she's been quite entertained by it. One saltine occupies her, while the rest of us have a pleasant dinner together, which is a real luxury that I'm sure won't last long.

She sprint-crawls rather effectively, and she has taken a few isolated steps, but hasn't truly started walking yet. She loves nothing more than to walk assisted, however, which is hard on Mommy's back, but worth it to see that twinkle in her clear blue eyes. I also finally let her cry all night one night about three weeks ago, and she's been sleeping through the night ever since. It's nice to get a full night of rest, but I kind of miss those midnight snuggles. I'll never really get those back, I guess, but that's just what happens when the baby grows up. It is so funny--the sense of relief I feel when she goes to sleep for a nap or at night, but how truly happy I am to see her when she wakes up. And she's happy, too. She jumps up and down in her crib and grins and giggles behind her paci.

All told, I'd do anything for this baby--absolutely anything. She is so easy to love. And I can definitely see how it happens that the older child gets blamed for everything while the baby is, well, babied. Whenever Carly cries or seems discontent, I find myself looking to Rachel first- "What did you do?" In my defense, I'm right about half the time. Other times, the poor big sister is on the other side of the room minding her own business, and Carly is fussing just to hear the sound of her own voice.

I think I will be sad one day, when I grow too old to have a baby around. I'm not there yet--I've always wanted a house full. But it will happen. And then I will pray for grandbabies.

she's a funny one

Here are some random fun things my big girl has said this week...

• After Rachel begged Jarrad for "hugs & kisses," which he granted, he closed the door behind him--off to work. She looked at me and said, "He will give you hugs & kisses tonight, Mommy. Don't be fuh-stuh-wated."
• Mommy: "We can't go by the Farmers Market, because they don't take credit cards." Rachel: "What? Shin guards?"
• Pointing to her shoulders, she matter-of-factly declares: "My arms are stuck to my side. So I can reach stuff. That's just how they hafta be."

I wish I could capture her animation in written form. Her mannerisms are so much like her daddy's, but she's a bit dramatic in her day-to-day--more like her mommy. She's so very sure of herself, and loves to "teach" me things. After spending a week with my mom, who taught Rachel to look for the 'in-step' of her shoe and that of her foot to decide which shoe belongs on which foot, Rachel spent several days teaching me the same lesson. Every time she picked up a shoe, she pointed out the 'in-step,' saying, "See, Mommy? See the in-step? You hafta look for the in-step," each time with a lot of emphasis on 'in-step'--as if to show off her new, grown-up vocabulary.

As I'm typing this, Rachel is hopping up and down on one foot and saying, "Look, Mommy--I can stand on one foot easily. See?"

We have also been reading a lot in her Big Picture Story Bible, which she is understanding and enjoying much more now. She asks great questions about the stories and about God and Jesus and heaven. I love to see her trying to figure out these mysteries that even the wisest cannot grasp, and I get emotional telling her about the great sacrifice that Jesus made on our behalf, just because He loves us so much. And it's humbling to tell her that He would have done it still, even if she had been the only person in the world, just because He loves HER so much. What a mighty God we serve.