oh, dear

I don't know how to fix it, but Rachel has been very demanding lately. I don't mean demanding like "I need lots of things from my mommy, which makes her tired" demanding; I mean more like "I'm unhappy with what I have and want anything else, please" demanding. All day long, it's "I want" and "Can I have" and "gimme gimme gimme!" How do you teach a kid to be content?

To add insult to injury, she is becoming a bit more...how shall I say?...conniving? That sounds extreme, but it's actually quite accurate. Here's a prime example:

• Mommy (seeing Rachel jumping on her bed): Rachel! You are not to jump on your bed!
• Rachel plops down on her bottom, laughing.
• Mommy: Rachel, I do not think this is funny.
• Rachel (still laughing): I'm just laughing at something else.
• Mommy: Excuse me??
• Rachel: I was just laughing at sissy. She's a funny baby.

I was flabbergasted. I can't believe how sophisticated her thinking is becoming, and it's disheartening to see her trying to deceive and manipulate. That girl definitely keeps me guessing!

She tried to pull the same lie on me a couple of days later, but I was more prepared and handled it better. I couldn't help but feel like my heart was breaking a little, though. I guess it's natural that we want to think our children perfect. But at a time like that, it is undeniable that they are human--imperfect--like the rest of us. As I looked her in the eye and explained to her that she lied, and that it is never okay to say something that is not true, it struck me how alike we are. It struck me that God's heart breaks a little every time I disobey Him. It struck me that, in spite of my imperfection--in spite of my wretchedness--He loves me still. I had the opportunity to share with Rachel that God is HOLY, and that disobeying even one time is unacceptable. He cannot bear to look at us when we have even one sin. His perfect justice simply cannot ignore my wrongs. But, because He loves me--because He loves Rachel--He took what should have been my punishment for my sins, and dealt it out to His only Son. And Christ, in all of His Godly perfection, willingly sacrificed Himself so that I CAN be in the presence of a Holy God. Thank you, Jesus! If I can communicate this Truth to my children, I have done my job. I try to remember that God law has one function: to show me that I cannot fulfill it--to show me that I NEED Him. I pray that the rules our family holds, and the discipline we impart, will have that same function.

In the meantime, Rachel's hair is, after waiting almost 3.5 years, finally in a style. The sides and front of her hair have grown long enough to cut it all to that length (seriously...three and a half years of growing!). Jarrad wants her hair to be long, so the goal is for it to all grow out together, now. I'll have to admit that I like the little bob cut. She looks like such a big girl!

she's making leaps

Rachel continually amazes me with her thought processes. On Monday, I babysat another baby girl, Kyler, who is just learning to walk. As she crawled around, I caught her almost crawling into our fireplace. I picked her up and showed her the rocks, and told her that's a no-no. She stared at me blankly and then fled the scene. Later, I got out Rachel's walk-behind toy, and Kyler strolled back and forth for a while. Rachel was eying that toy, and, as soon as Kyler let go of it, Rachel dashed to it, grabbed it, and rolled it over and onto the rocks. She then pointed back and forth from Kyler to the toy, as if to taunt her. It was hard for me to believe she was baiting Kyler, but it was SO deliberate, so I can't deny it either. She's a nut.

Earlier that day, Rachel was trying to climb onto our coffee table, something she knows is a no-no. I reminded her a time or two, and then told her she would get a time out the next time she did it. She nodded yes and went over to get a floor pillow, placed it in her time-out corner (she knows the procedure), and sat down, laughing. "Okay," I said, waving my finger in her face "you will sit in time out for one minute because you were climbing on the table." She sat there, solemn, while I moved away and pretended to ignore her for a minute. I came back and told her she was all finished. She went straight over to her Elmo, who she carried to the coffee table, where he proceeded to climb. She scolded him, "No, no--out!" She placed him on the time out pillow. "Minute," she said, waving her finger. She walked away briefly, and then returned, "All finished." Well, Elmo was quickly back to the table, climbing again. This time, though, as Rachel began to scold him, she had a thought. She dropped her Elmo, went to her toys, and pulled out the giant red foam finger Jarrad brought home from a game last year. She came back to Elmo, wearing the finger. She stuck it right in his face and waved it around saying, "no, no...no, no." HA! That must be what I look like to her when I'm waving my giant finger in her face. I got a great laugh out of that.

rules are made to be broken

Aunt KiKi has been a source of several good toddler rules (like "you're allowed to touch the Christmas tree ornaments with one finger"). One of her rules we have adopted is "No wheels on the furniture." Yesterday, after Jarrad got home from work, and while Aunt Mamber was visiting, Rachel was showing off: she put herself in time out, then she put Tony the Tiger in time out (he had apparently grabbed Mommy's glasses, something Rachel gets in trouble for, and Rachel scolded him by getting right in his face, doing the sign for "no" and saying "no, no...no,no"). Rachel was pushing her popper toy around the living room, and then hoisted it onto a piece of furniture. We reminded her about the wheels rule, but she kept trying to defy that rule, cutting her eyes at us and grinning all the way. So, finally, Jarrad took the popper toy away and said, "Okay, we have to say 'bye bye, toy' because you're not listening." He put it in our bedroom and closed the door. Rachel cheerfully dismissed the toy, and then went straight to the toy vacuum that cousin Tyler let her borrow. She brought the vacuum over, placed it on the furniture, pulled it off again, and then handed it to Jarrad and said, "bye bye," waving as he put the toy away.

time out game

Today, Rachel slept her latest to date: 9:05am. I never thought it would happen, but today was the day. As a result, we had a great day. She had one very small temper tantrum, one time out, and one self-imposed time out. Huh? Well, I started time out [again] last week. I tried it a few weeks ago, and she didn't seem to get it. She gets it now. I usually get one of the small, square floor pillows, set it in the corner, and then she sits there for about a minute. The same day she got a time out for the first time, she gave herself a time out. Now, when I give her a warning and say she'll get a time out if she does ____ again, she goes and has a time out. She pulls the pillow off the stack, sets it in the corner, sits on it for a second and looks at me, and then says/signs "all finished" before replacing the pillow on the stack. I also reluctantly use spanking on occasion, and she has also begun requesting a "spank spank" (that's what I call it) when I give her a warning. Don't get me wrong--she definitely seems to have her feelings hurt when I give her a spank spank or a time out...so I don't understand what she's thinking. As usual.