Jarrad has been leading the youth group at our church for almost a year. Last summer, I was a bitter, pregnant woman who did not see the joy in his service, because it meant so much time away from us, and away from what I perceived to be his "duties" in our home and our family. One of the families who has two children in the youth group lives closeby, and their 14-year-old son came over multiple times over the summer last year to "bless" us by mowing the grass and tending to a few other outside chores. Every time he came, I cringed. "Here he comes to do Jarrad's job again, because Jarrad doesn't care enough about us to do it himself," I [erroneously] thought.
Today, that same teenager and three other boys from the youth group came over. They mowed, trimmed, sprayed, and spread pinestraw. They hung out. They drank my sweet tea and served as my girls' afternoon entertainment, and they walked away with some snacks and two pictures from Rachel (she "wrote" their names!).
Today, I was blessed. My husband spends his time blessing others in the way the Lord has called him, and I now see all the ways the Lord was waiting to bless me by providing our needs through others. Don't get me wrong--I had faith, before, that the Lord would provide. But, somehow I missed that He chooses to provide in many many ways. I had grown to believe the lie that the Lord would provide only through my husband. And so, my sin was keeping me from receiving the blessings He was offering to me through others.
How sweet it is that my husband is willing to be used by God to bless others. How sweet it is that his service gives others the opportunity to be a blessing. How sweet it is that the Lord is teaching me to receive those blessings with thanksgiving and praise.
For about a week, the phrase, "the Lord is my portion," kept coming to my mind. I knew it was from God because I wasn't even completely sure what it meant. I finally Googled it, just to see what came up, and I got a beautiful explanation that [of course] fit with this process I've been going through. The Lord IS my portion. He IS what I need, and I have my portion in HIM. When I think of a portion, I think of it as exactly the amount needed. And He IS exactly what I need!
The last two days, I have been meditating on another one of God's names: Jehovah-Jireh, "the Lord will provide." Each time I have been tempted to think that Jarrad is failing us in some way, I remind myself that I serve Jehovah-Jireh, and HE will provide! And He proves it over and over and over again.