not exactly

Rachel: Mommy, hey Mommy. Mommy. Mommy.

Mommy (trying to have a conversation with Laurie): Rachel, if you have something to say, you should say, 'Excuse me,' and then wait.

Mommy continues conversation with Laurie.

Rachel: Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Mommy: Yes, Rachel, what is it?

Rachel: Not anything.

Mommy: Honey, you should only say 'excuse me' when you need something.

Mommy continues conversation with Laurie.

Rachel: Excuse me. Excuse me.

Mommy: Yes, Rachel?

Rachel: I need something.

Mommy: And what do you need?

Rachel: Not anything.

new baby, new chart

Saturday night, I started re-reading a lot of articles and testimonials about Elimination Communication. I have a renewed interest now, and I feel encouraged and, well, not as silly, after having read what other mothers have done. I even found one story that sounded just like my experience with Rachel! Anyway, I also felt emboldened to go diaper-free with Carly. But, since that sounds potentially messy, I've decided to just go waterproofless. So, during the day today, she has worn just a cloth diaper with no waterproof cover. Interestingly, but not surprisingly, we have had much fewer misses today! So, for old time's sake, here's the potty chart for today, as of 3:00pm:

Potty Report

	potty	diaper
peepee	7	4
poop	3	1

Wow, babies go a lot. I knew she went often, but not that often! Going cloth, and especially going without the waterproof cover has been very enlightening on that end. Knowing that she wasn't waterproof made me much more attentive to her cues. When she fussed, and I knew she was neither hungry nor sleepy, I took her potty. And she's gone almost every time, even though there was a time or two when she had just gone 10 minutes before. Herein lies my biggest consideration when debating about whether to continue with this EC thing: now that I've seen it, how could I not assume that might be the reason behind any efforts to communicate with me? I am learning her hunger cues, and her sleepy cues, and now her "elimination" cues, and I just don't think I could ignore any of the three at this point. After all, what else does a baby do?? Of course, I'm not right every time, but sometimes I also think she's hungry when she's not, and sometimes I think she's tired when she's not (or, conversely, I don't think she's hungry when she actually is, or that she's tired when she actually is), so it stands to reason that I would miss some of her elimination cues just as easily.

With Rachel, I had a definitive goal to be done with diapers by the time she reached 12 months. I moved the goal to 18 months when we "failed" the first goal, and then I gave up on having a goal at all when she wasn't completely done at 18 months. I felt frustrated as she got older and still had accidents. But, after reading a lot of the accounts from other moms, and now being on the other side of it with Rachel (she's been fully trained by day and night for about 5 months now), I know to consider this a process, and I know that it will just "click" with Carly whenever she is mature enough. I know that I am laying the groundwork for future potty learning, and whether we have more catches or more misses is neither here nor there. It is about learning to communicate with my baby about her basic needs, and setting forth clear expectations so I won't have to re-train her from using a diaper when she's older.

I am totally in love with this concept, in case you can't tell, and there is nothing sweeter than the times I have with just her, holding her little dimpled bottom over the potty and seeing her grin up at me after she's gone. She seems to realize what's happening, but, at the least, I can just assume she likes being bare-bottomed. I'm happy for those gummy grins, whatever the reason.

who goes there?

Since Carly was born, one thing that has never ceased to make us giggle, even, at times, in spite of ourselves, is walking by one of Carly's contraptions to see it already occupied by one of Rachel's friends.

addendum

I did some intentional photography while we were outside this afternoon. When I was writing the last entry, I realized that we didn't have any pictures of the entire swing set, and, worse, we had no after pictures of our back yard! So, here they are (I also added the "after" picture to the post below, for comparison)...

worth every penny

When the weather was so nice during the fall, I really was wishing we had a decent swingset for Rachel. She had been happily playing on a dinky little toddler slide for a while, but she was really into playgrounds--the slides, the swings...everything about them. Two years ago, I remember how much I wanted a backyard. We own a little over one acre of relatively level land, and it was all woods. I used to rock baby Rachel right by the window in her nursery and gaze out, dreaming of the nice backyard we could have if we could manage to clear the land and have it readied for grass. I must have mentioned it often, because my dear husband, who usually does not pick up on my more subtle hints, got our land-clearing company-owning neighbor to bring over a crew one Saturday, at cost. The trees were gone the same day, and I was SO EXCITED. A couple of months later, we hired a landscape guy to do the minimum--a couple of bare natural areas, some new topsoil, and SEED. Within a few weeks, we had a green, grassy, beautiful YARD! I still can't believe the transition, and I was so happy...until I decided we needed the next thing, I guess--the swingset. Of course, I knew full well that we didn't need it. I managed to even talk myself down from needing the big fancy wood set, knowing that a simple metal set like I had growing up would be all we'd ever need. I was also satisfied to have a used one, but my endless craigslist searches always came up empty. The best deals go gone immediately, while others looked great in the picture, but were no good in person.

But about three months ago, it happened. I found the perfect listing. Priced at $75, we could easily fit it into the budget, and it was a simple wood set that appeared to be in good condition. I suppose since winter was upon us, the set was still available. And we got it!

HOWEVER, it has been sitting, in pieces, ever since. Jarrad has a bathroom remodel ongoing in the house, and I just couldn't ask him to take the time to set up the swingset--I didn't want him to, since I want that bathroom DONE.

But last week, we had some unusually nice weather, and I was so sad it wasn't up for Rachel. So I made a call, and Rachel's Pop came to the rescue. It took him less than a day to get it up and running, and Rachel kept saying, "OHHHHH good STOB, Pop! Stank you!" (Translation: Oh good job, Pop. Thank you.)

Of course, ever since he got it up, it's been either really cold and windy, or raining. This afternoon, though, it seemed to be dry enough and not quite as cold, so Rachel got to play, for the first time, on her very own "playground."

As she was playing, I heard Rachel utter, "Good stoooob, Pop! It's so much fuuuun playing on dis sting!" (Translation: Good job, Pop. It's so much fun playing on this thing.)

come and gone

I feel like we missed Christmas, somehow. First, Rachel got a terrible cold--her second since Carly was born, and also her second since she was about 18 months old! I don't know how she has managed to stay sick now, of all times, but she has, and she can't seem to shake the cough and runny nose, even though she's better. She was probably well enough to handle our Christmas rounds, but then Carly and I woke up sick on Christmas Eve! I noticed Carly's congestion the day before, but hoped I was just being over-sensitive to her little grunty noises. She ended up with a nasty-sounding cough and belabored breathing. SCARY! I have a couple of friends who have babies who stay sick with one thing or another (you know who you are!), and I don't know how they deal with it! I guess it's true that the Lord only gives us what we can handle, because I am such a wimp. Jarrad did end up taking Rachel to his family's Christmas at his Grandma's house on Christmas Eve, but we sat out the rest of the celebrations last week. I was the sickest I've been in years, and my wonderful husband, who is on "vacation" right now, waited on me hand and foot, while keeping Rachel thoroughly entertained and happy (albeit, a little messier than usual). When I finally snapped out of the haze yesterday, I looked around and could not believe the condition of our home. What happened around here?? It is messy and dirty, and a bit overwhelming to think of all the chores that need doing, but I'll write it off for now, and hope for a little grace from any visitors we may have in the coming days.

And little Carly? After two reassuring visits to the pediatrician's office (a place I usually try very hard to avoid), she is getting better. Apparently RSV, which causes bronchiolitis, in babies, is going around. The doc says the emergency rooms have been full of infants needing oxygen because of it!! It's a good thing that I was sick too, since my body was producing antibodies that she got through my breastmilk, and that was probably be enough to keep Carly in the clear, according to her pediatrician. Phew! I think it's amazing how God designed my body to cope and help my baby cope with a virus like this.

Here are some pictures from our boring Christmas (notice Rachel at Jarrad's grandma's house...yes, those are ALL her presents). Although I was really sad to miss our family gatherings (I'm pretty sure I've never missed mine), it actually was a really sweet time for us to be together as just our little family, excusing ourselves from any activity other than just being a family. It was nice to reflect on the season and what we really celebrate this time of year, instead of rushing from place to place being inundated with stuff we probably never needed in the first place.

(Also notice...pictures of our family = none, pictures of our pretty Christmas tree = none, pictures of either parent with either daughter = none. Pitiful, I know. We really need to try harder with the sentimental stuff...maybe we'll try to recreate some of these moments tomorrow.)

keeping me busy

I don't have much excuse for not blogging. I've felt bogged down by the season, I guess--trying to get everything squared away for our six (yes, six) family get-togethers. In the meantime, we have at least been snapping photos, even if I've failed to post any. Here are three of my favs from the past three weeks. The first is a picture of the first time we ventured outside to play (okay, and older pic, but still worth commemorating). Rachel is on her second cold since Carly was born (my Rachel, who had not been sick at ALL since before she turned 2--in JUNE), so we've been kind of a mess around here. So the three of us have felt housebound (I'm not very adventurous with my babies anyway), and it was starting to show on my big girl. She kept saying, "Mommy, I want to go somewhere." So we spent 15 minutes outside playing that day. It was cold, and she was ready to come inside. Carly was bundled and snug as a bug in the sling, and the crisp air made her still and calm. It's also been hard to keep my snotty big girl out of Carly's face, and I gave it up, since I don't want to discourage her too much from loving on her little sister. Carly has stayed well, and I'm hoping that won't change. Do babies this tiny get colds? I feel like I'm rambling, so, without further adieu...