crawling to a crawl

I've decided that I really love having two much more than just having one. They entertain each other, and it's music to my ears when Rachel asks, "When's Carly gonna wake up?" as her sister is napping. For now, it seems almost easier to have two. But my world is rapidly changing. Check out what Carly figured out a few days ago--and know that she is becoming more and more proficient every day. EEK! (Note: this is MY first movie attempt. Jarrad is usually the movie-maker, but I thought I'd give it a whirl...)

the littler one

Carly is doing so much better. I have been giving her medication for acid reflux, which has seemed to clear up her cough and congestion. I am thankful, although I cringe every time I give her the meds. At least she hopefully won't get any more ear infections. She is just as happy and healthy as can be! She has yet to figure out how to accomplish forward motion, which causes her some frustration, but otherwise, she is easy to smile and laugh. She has quickly out-grown the snuggly phase, which I miss, but it is fun to watch her little personality come out.

And she uses the potty. I have only had to change two or three poopy diapers in the last three weeks or so, and those have been when I let her play in her crib after waking from a nap or in the morning. I don't have to verbally cue her anymore (although I do usually say, "Do you need to go peepee?") because she recognizes the potty and knows what to do. I remember doing a lot of sitting and waiting with Rachel when I started her (which was at this same age), but Carly usually goes pretty quickly if she needs to go. Now that it's hot weather, I am considering letting her roam around diaperless some, just to see what happens. I imagine it would end in a few messes, but I would sure be more attentive to get her to the potty when I think she needs to go!

Carly turns 7 months old on Thursday, and I can hardly remember what life was like before she was around. She definitely makes me want a houseful and to never be without a baby, but I guess we'll wait to see what the Lord has in store for us!

Here are some pictures of Carly with her big sister. Some people are surprised that I like to dress my girls in matching clothes. It may not seem like me, but I do think it's cute! Maybe it's because I never had a sister? Who knows, but I'll keep doing it as long as they'll let me, and as long as the clothes they are given work out to match sometimes (we are blessed with lots of hand-me-downs from friends).

the bigger one

So, what of my girls? They're still here, making me smile (and laugh) every day. Rachel has picked up on one of my catch phrases, asking me at times, "I'm making you crazy, Mommy?" She is quite the spunky one, and she sends me to sighing pretty regularly with her nonsensical questioning. We often have conversations like this:

• Rachel: I should wash my hands now, Mommy?
• Mommy: Yes, you definitely should wash your hands.
• Rachel: Why?
• Mommy: You just went potty, didn't you?
• Rachel: I just went potty?
• Mommy: Yes, Honey, so go wash your hands.
• Rachel: I need to go wash my hands?
• Mommy sighs.
• Rachel: I'm making you crazy, Mommy?

It can be wearing at times, and I regularly have to remind myself that she's only looking for more information so she can learn, which is something I do want to encourage, right?

I have felt proud of her over the last month or so. She seems to have matured some, and is beginning to use her manners without having to be reminded. Ever since my child gained the vocabulary and know-how to do so, she's been talking back to me. I think it's the natural course for a kid, but it's one of my pet peeves (probably because I got so sick of being disrespected by children when I worked in the school system at the Elementary level). I was horrified to think how she would be talking to me and other adults if I didn't start training her otherwise right away. So, for months now, I have stopped her regularly, by putting my hand up and saying, "When Mommy asks you to do something, you only need to say, 'Yes, Ma'am,' and then you do as you are told. Anything else is disobeying." I have said it what feels like a hundred times a day, and knew I could have said it a lot more (case in point, the many conversations like the one I listed above), and I thought it would never sink in. But about two weeks ago, she started actually doing it on her own, and seems to feel accomplished every time she remembers and I praise her. It is such a relief from the contrary phase she was in. Along those same lines, she has begun obeying without questioning, even in small tasks, and, consequently, she has become a great help to me. Of course, I don't mind if she at times, with respect, asks for an explanation or request a different course of action. But there is a big difference in asking a curious "why" and a defiant "why," and I'm just working to teach her that the defiant "why" is inappropriate and disrespectful. She also is beginning to take "no" for an answer without pitching a fit [most of the time], which is a big improvement as well. I am literally sighing with relief.

On the other hand, Rachel has ceased napping. It happened sort of suddenly, and she hasn't really looked back. She did fall asleep one day last week, and she took a good nap (over an hour), but then she had trouble going to sleep that night. Oh, well, right? If she doesn't seem to need the sleep, I guess I shouldn't begrudge her giving it up. She still has "room time" in the afternoons, but we're working through the rules that go with that. Yesterday, she came out every five minutes to ask if room time was over.

So that's my big girl. I'll do a separate post about my baby girl.

blessings

Jarrad has been leading the youth group at our church for almost a year. Last summer, I was a bitter, pregnant woman who did not see the joy in his service, because it meant so much time away from us, and away from what I perceived to be his "duties" in our home and our family. One of the families who has two children in the youth group lives closeby, and their 14-year-old son came over multiple times over the summer last year to "bless" us by mowing the grass and tending to a few other outside chores. Every time he came, I cringed. "Here he comes to do Jarrad's job again, because Jarrad doesn't care enough about us to do it himself," I [erroneously] thought.

Today, that same teenager and three other boys from the youth group came over. They mowed, trimmed, sprayed, and spread pinestraw. They hung out. They drank my sweet tea and served as my girls' afternoon entertainment, and they walked away with some snacks and two pictures from Rachel (she "wrote" their names!).

Today, I was blessed. My husband spends his time blessing others in the way the Lord has called him, and I now see all the ways the Lord was waiting to bless me by providing our needs through others. Don't get me wrong--I had faith, before, that the Lord would provide. But, somehow I missed that He chooses to provide in many many ways. I had grown to believe the lie that the Lord would provide only through my husband. And so, my sin was keeping me from receiving the blessings He was offering to me through others.

How sweet it is that my husband is willing to be used by God to bless others. How sweet it is that his service gives others the opportunity to be a blessing. How sweet it is that the Lord is teaching me to receive those blessings with thanksgiving and praise.

For about a week, the phrase, "the Lord is my portion," kept coming to my mind. I knew it was from God because I wasn't even completely sure what it meant. I finally Googled it, just to see what came up, and I got a beautiful explanation that [of course] fit with this process I've been going through. The Lord IS my portion. He IS what I need, and I have my portion in HIM. When I think of a portion, I think of it as exactly the amount needed. And He IS exactly what I need!

The last two days, I have been meditating on another one of God's names: Jehovah-Jireh, "the Lord will provide." Each time I have been tempted to think that Jarrad is failing us in some way, I remind myself that I serve Jehovah-Jireh, and HE will provide! And He proves it over and over and over again.

ramblings from mommy

I have a ridiculous amount of work to do to catch up on this blogging thing. My computer crashed about three weeks ago, and my hubby keeps his tied up most of the time, so I have been pretty well media-free ever since (did I ever mention that we chucked our TV a couple of months ago?). It's been a little strange, but I haven't missed any of it like I thought I would. What a relief, right? But I do miss keeping up with my blog, especially since the Lord has been teaching me so much lately.

I am learning all about what it means to be a Godly woman. I have finally found the true freedom that exists when I am obedient to what the Lord calls me to as a wife and mother. It is so amazing and humbling, and it makes me wonder what in the world was hindering me from understanding it before now. But since I can't change the past, I am anxious to get on with the future and see what other surprises await! I have fallen in love with my husband all over again, and this time is sweeter and much deeper than the first. I praise God that my husband is the Christ-follower that he is. I also praise God for daily reminders that it is He who sustains me, not my husband, and it is He who will never fail me. I realize that I was holding entirely unrealistic expectations for my husband and depending on him to provide for me and fill my heart, when God was just waiting for me to turn to Him instead. And so, over these 7 years of marriage, and especially since the arrival of our firstborn, I have felt disappointed over and over, oppressed, and angry. I knew that it was illogical and ridiculous, but I just couldn't seem to put all the pieces together. I am realizing now that it is wrong for me to ever be disappointed by another person on the level that it affects my heart. When that happens, it exposes where I have been placing my trust--in that person rather than in God.

Now, daily, I lay it down at the feet of Jesus. And when my husband fails me (because he does, God bless him), I remember that it is the LORD who will provide what I need. If I can cling to that, I will never be angry or resentful toward him, and he will never feel the need to be defensive with me. Praise God for His model that he laid out for us in the Word! It's so counter-intuitive that I should make little of myself and much of my husband in order that God will be glorified and I will have true freedom, but I am discovering how true it is, and how SWEET it is!

And so I publicly beg the forgiveness of my humble, patient, God-fearing husband, who put up with me when I was so ugly and sinful and unrealistic. He chose to love me through it, as he committed to do on our wedding day almost 7 years ago. I am amazed at the sweet season my heart change has thrown us into, and I look forward to being that old couple who still can't get enough of each other...it was hard to imagine before, but now I know it will be.

my little baby

Our sweet little Carly turns 6 months old tomorrow. Praise God we seem to have an answer for her persistent cough: acid reflux or Tracheomalacia, either of which she will grow out of without consequence. We have medication for acid reflux, but I haven't been able to bring myself to give it to her yet. If she has it, it sure doesn't seem to bother her, aside from the normal amount of spit up (still significantly less than we experienced when Rachel was a baby), and, of course, the congestion/cough. It doesn't make her fussy, keep her up at night, or cause her trouble breathing. On the other hand, if she gets another ear infection, I sure will kick myself for not giving it to her. Oh, these mommy decisions...

I finally started Carly on rice cereal about a week and a half ago. I'm rather hesitant when it comes to food, and I'm not sure why. Maybe because it's such a tangible sign that my baby won't be a baby forever, or maybe it's just because we can't avoid having "another mouth to feed" any longer, but whatever it is, I put it off as long as I can. She loves it, though, and she caught on to the whole deal rather quickly (my baby, my little baby..). I can hardly stand it!

She's great fun now, too. I can't believe how proficient she is becoming. She was playing with an input toy a couple of days ago, and she was actually picking up the balls and putting them right where they belonged! (my baby, my little baby).. She can sit up on her own quite well (although I still don't leave her sitting by herself), and she wants to get moving so badly. She thinks Rachel is hilarious, and she has the cutest habit of keeping the very tip of her index finger perched right inside her bottom lip. She is as pleasant as any baby I've ever been around, and I love her sweet little voice that she's finding more and more (she's gone from cooing to "yayayaya" to "dadadada" in the past week). She also L-O-V-E-S being naked (or "nakedy" as Rachel and I call it), and will giggle at nothing when she's free from diaper and clothes.

And speaking of diapers, yes--she still wears them. She goes on the potty some, of course, but I don't foresee a diaper-free future for quite some time. We do love catching what we catch, though, and she definitely knows what's going on now. (my baby, my little baby). I am less enchanted now with pottying and cloth diapering, and I'm happy to move into a season when it's all just a part of normal life--the potty, the cloth diapers, the laundry. With Rachel, I resorted back to disposable diapers pretty readily, but now I don't even think of it, really, because cloth is what we're used to.

The first picture here shows how much Rachel loves that her sissy is growing into a playmate. I can't turn my back on Carly for more than a few minutes before Rachel has surrounded her with toys. I sometimes can't find Carly in the mound, and she seems to get overwhelmed at times, but I do think it's sweet.

Below is the face Daddy will want her to use on all the boys:

simplest plans

I know I haven't blogged in a long while. God has been doing some amazing things in my heart and in our marriage, and I have been learning SO MUCH! I love that having babies is such a spiritually growing experience. Anyway, this is worth a blogpost:

Jarrad and I are fairly responsible. While we aren't mega-planners, we do like to have an idea of what major occurrences are in the works for us. On Sunday, however, we got in the car to come home from church. The weather was beautiful--and HOT. It felt so much like summer that I found myself saying, "I wish we could go to the beach." Silence. "We could," said Jarrad. Silence. "Can we?" says I. We did. We got home, threw everything together (after I rushed to wash the diapers...no one wants to come home to stinky diapers! My wonderful friend/neighbor, Theresa, agreed to come over and let them dry after we left), and we left for the beach within 3 hours! I think that's impressive, considering we have two little ones in tow. We passed through Jarrad's grandparents' to visit with them and to get the key to their wonderfully peaceful [and free] beachfront condo.

And that's when the purpose of our trip began to change. We found out that a close friend of the family was going through a really difficult time, and, wouldn't you know, she lives close to the beach. So today, our only full day here, we took the girls, and visited her.

If I had known what was going on, I would have called and offered to be there with her. But she would have said, "No, no, you don't need to come," and I would have respected that and stayed home. So God worked it out for us to take a "random" trip to the beach so that we would be here for her. And then, when we got to her, God worked it out that her neighbor has a wonderful little swing set, where Jarrad and Rachel occupied themselves for almost the entire three hours we were there, as Carly and I gave our friend a much-needed distraction and a listening ear.

I could write it all off as an inconvenient coincidence. After all, we came for a break--a vacation! Instead of wiling away our time on the beach, we found ourselves consoling a friend. But I find it most humbling and exciting that God clearly had a purpose for this short trip. I love how He works things out like that. In the meantime, our little family of four have had a wonderful time together. Rachel and Daddy have spent a lot of time on the beach, playing in the sand and low-tide pools, and Carly and I have done a lot of playing and snuggling indoors. She had her third ear infection last week, and she's still not quite well. We've been outside some, but I'm happy to mostly keep her in and enjoy the quiet together.

I'll post new pictures soon (I know...it's been awhile). And I'll write more Godstuff soon too. Promise.